Get me on a smoother ride....need advice - part 3

[Pamar]

SueS,

It sounds like a stage. My W went through the 'I'm so mad at you for spoiling my life' - I decided to roll with it and act 'as if', 'cos if I had got started, I know I would have let rip and told her that it was not me that started the A.

Plus, they HATE it if you don't rise to them. It doesn't allow them to feel that you are the one in the wrong and forces them to think about what they have done.

So happy, happy, happy. I find that singing also works (well it annoyed my W) to lift the spirits.

Also, lwb and SueS, I am now monitoring your posts. If I catch any peeking, I will be over there and you will have to go over my knee LOL.

[SueS]

morgan........mad at you? No way! Thank you sooooo much. You kind of opened my eyes. I guess I didn't see it as nagging, because the whole thing didn't really bug me. I was thinking more of D3's comfort. I'll keep a lid on it!

Yoyo.....Thanks for the suggestion. I did try to lay her clothes out. Haven't done it much lately. I tried to get D3 to pick her clothes out ahead of time. But, usually when I pick her up, H has put her in something else.

Pamar....Happy, Happy, Happy. I'll try that. And I promise, no more peeking. Although that going over a knee sounds fun!! LOL

I did take D3's bike to school. I was just pulling away when they were pulling in. H pulled up next to me and when I rolled down my window he started to pull away, then stopped. Smarta$$. So his sense of humor is not completely gone. We both laughed. I told D3 that her bike was there and then asked H for my desk keys off his key ring. Forgot I'd put them on there when I had his car yesterday. Acted "as if", didn't say anything about D3's clothes (they were fine anyway). Told D3 to have a good day & that I'd let them get going. H just said Bye and they left.

I tried to find DR on my way back to work. The only close bookstore was out. DAMN!! I really wanted to start reading that tonight too. I'll have to find it somewhere else.

Back to work. Waiting for my audit partner to show up so we can leave.

Positive, no pursuing, no pushing, no nagging, "as if", I can only change me, I can't control him....etc. ......I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.

SueS

[SueS]

One Question.....

I'm sure I have the answer to this, but I want an opinion.

My first confrontation came after I'd told my H that I was going to check the phone bill so I could see what we needed for a new plan when I got my number changed. I still have an out of state number and want to get a local one.

I have not changed that number yet.

I want to get it changed. Do you think I'm just pushing another of H's buttons by doing it now, or am I just following through with something I said I was going to do and have wanted to do for a while?

I think if I go ahead and do it, it's showing H a little that I didn't just use the phone bills as my excuse to snoop. Well, I kind of did, but following through might somewhat disprove that in his mind.

SueS

[SallyM]

if you want a new number, get a new number. take H out of the equation on it. take your snooping out of the equation. the only thing you have to think about is whether you want the new number, then proceed.

[SueS]

morgan....next time just reach through your pc and give me a smack. I've been told by friends that I over think things (which I do) and with the issues going on now, I do it WAAAYYYY more than normal.

I'll do it. I can't today, but will put it on the "To Do" list for tomorrow.

Thanks! SueS

[LL44]

Sue, I find myself doing the same thing regarding the girls. I feel I am just approaching H about things, but he sees it as nagging. Now, I just do my own thing. I used to fret and fret about the silliest things, and wonder "What would W want to do?", but now I just decide and do it. And guess what, they see it as stronger and independent. Isn't that what your H wants from you? Basically that's what you ended up doing today (by bringing the bike yourself), but let's try it without getting his dander up. Not easy, as these spouses are M O O D Y

About the phone, do what you want. H doesn't matter in the scheme of things.

[fightingirish]

sues,

I agree with lwb, do what you want hun.

Be strong and maybe he will notice this.

((hugs))

tal

[SueS]

lwb & TAL-

I plan on changing the number tomorrow.

Very nice conversation with H tonight. I looked at my phone and H had called about 20 minutes earlier. I called back & got vm. H called me back. He asked where we were & why I hadn't answered my phone. Told him I just hadn't heard it ringing.

H had told me that he'd called to see if we were out so I could run him an errand. Told him we were home so maybe he could do it on the way home. We talked about his work, D3, concert tickets we have, baseball....etc. I want to take D3 to a pumpkin patch/apple orchard. Her school is closed in 2 weeks on a Monday. I want to take her then, but didn't want to leave H out. I mentioned my plans and asked if he wanted to go. That's not really his kind of thing. At first he joked and said.....Are you smoking something??...that's not really my thing. Then his tone changed and he said.....really, thanks for thinking of me, but you two can just go. Then I asked if he'd do me a favor and throw some things in the wash tomorrow. He said.....you know I will, just have them sorted. I told him I did have everything sorted, but I'd forgotten to ask him to please do that. He said....no problem, I'll do that for you. He also reminded me that he'd taken something out for supper for me. Just a nice convo considering the past few days.

Up goes the rollercoaster!

Have a good night.

SueS

[LuvMyHusband]

wow, congratulations Sue. I'm glad you are having an up day.

[fightingirish]

Sues,

I know, isn't it crazy!! i wish my H was even around to do those things with me.

Im glad that you had an upbeat convo.. thats wonderful, you deserve a break..

tal