Jak, My W is preparing to make the commitment to quit smoking. I expect her to make an attempt sometime in the next month. I think this is one of the significant patterns she will need to change. She also has begun running on her treadmill whenever she's stressed. I see this as acknowledging that she needs to take better care of herself, and manage her stress better.
I too used to avoid conflict. I can relate to your H's avoidance of conflict in the M. This is one of the issues addressed in the book I'm reading. The author advises men to think of it as a connection-disconnection-reconnection continuum. Your H will have to work at repairing connection when there has been a derailment in the M.
We're waiting to see if my W and your H have the will and courage to face and work-thru their issues.
You sound like you need some TLC. I hope you do something soon for you. Piecing a M back together is hard work.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
