>>I know MIL is telling W to seek a lawyer and to have me taken completely out of the picture (I've got my sources)<<

Well, that sounds like an over reaction if I've ever heard one. Have you ever heard that saying, "Be careful what you wish for..." Does your wife think she'd actually REALLY WANT 100% physical custody? Do you think if she moved in with, or married, OM he'd want to have 100% physical custody of your kids? I doubt it. The reality of it would certainly put a big dent on her romantic time with OM. Doesn't she already try to get you to watch them so she can have "special time" with OM? Boy that would have to end. Gosh, if my husband ever threatened me with that $hit I'd let him have it!.... Here, you go... take them.... you get to be a single parent 24 hours a day for the next 18+ years... I'm off to live in Florida or Hawaii and spend the next 18+ years hanging out at the beach!!! Party time!!!! ;-)

Actually, I did used to threaten him with that!!! He adores and loves his kids, but when I did that (even had a realtor in Florida sending me information about homes there!) he'd get really frantic.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.