awful fresh tony, awful fresh...neither...just the spending time together relaxing was fun!
so...I must say...I like the h I have now much much better than the one that left last march...I think I like the new me that I am too...(though I don't really think I am all that different)
I've got myself a bit of chill time...doing laundry..dd's napping and h has son outside playing while he chops wood.
aaahhhh!!! if this were last year or rather before ow disclosure I would have to entertain son and keep him away from daddy while he chops wood...granted son is older and able to listen better to daddy but h is also older and able to listen to son better.
we are getting there...I just wish the phsycological crap would go away and we could all just be happy in the now sometimes I am and other times my head just wants to explode!
why do things like this exhist in the world??? why is everyone so damn screwed up with their principals and priorities? why does no one respect marriage any more (I suppose maybe they never did but now that we have more access to more people we see how truly sick the world is)
I am tired of such things!!
this is an e-mail I just got inviting me to a website...grrrr!!
Quote:
For the men: *Currently, there are 42,736 married women in the U.S. who are lonley and looking for some fun.
For the women: *Currently, there are 26,085 married men in the U.S. who are lonley and looking for some fun.
*chat online with thousands of others 24/7
*We've paired up tens of thousands of lonely married men and women in less than 2 years, with over 27 million visitors to the site...you don't want to miss out on this. But before you enter the site, we ask that you PLEASE RESPECT everyone's feelings. You may receive messages from individuals of which you may not be interested in, regardless, please be considerate.
of course in total vein I replied with this...
Quote: you are a sick individual!!! and anyone who participates in your site is also sick...if these people are lonely and unhappy in their marriages seeking out another is not the answer and the service you are providing them is a waist..you are feeding off the misery of these sad souls only to in the end add more mysery...unless of course they are conciessless individuals.
offering a site where people who are unhappily married and don't want to be, can find ways to make their marriage a better one!! gee that would be foolish wouldn't it...much better to prey on the week pulling them down to your sick and twisted level so you wont be alone in your self made hell.
oh how LL wishes she could save the world from all it's self inflicted mysery and yet is saddend to accept the fact that she can not.
sadly that I'm sure is not the only such site for married individuals to find extramarital affairs...gee why don't they start a site called wannahaveanaffair.com...oh wait there probably is one already...
any who...here's a good example of simple basic good dbing...
last night after putting son to bed...h opens the slider to the deck and starts shoveling and scrapping at the ice chunks making a real racket...I thought to myself...son will be right down here in less than 5 wondering what the heck is going on...in the past I would have said so much..but left it alone.
son as I susspected he would...came down and said I can't sleep...so h brought him up again...I could have then said "well gee h, no wonder the kid couldn't sleep with all that noise" but I didn't, I still said nothing...
h eventually came back down with a smile and said....
"I know he got up because of my shoveling"
I just smiled in return.
see how simple it at times can be to avoid tension....was I happy that h was making noise that would bring son down? no
did I have to say so? no
what happend because I didn't say anything...h realized it himself and made a bit of a laugh about it and we were still able to enjoy our evening.
if I had said "why are you doing that, you know he's gonna hear you and come down here"
I may have been met with well what ya get met with when you act like your someones mother when you aren't!!
Quote: there are still moments when I get uncomfortable...my mind wondering to the past...wondering if this is real or if I will soon discover I am being fooled...I'd like to think not.
Like you said the other day, we oftentimes are experiencing/thinking the same things in our sitches. Today I was here big time. Got that uncomfortable sinking feeling...that paranoia that starts deep down in the gut... I think, for me, it's because maybe things are going well. They are going so well that I get suspicious. Can't believe it's true, so there must be something else. Jeez...what a mind-(censored) all of this is!
I WANT NORMALCY!!! and maybe...just maybe...I'm getting it and don't even realize... Are you?
Sounds like you are doing ok..I liked your post about not saying all those things to h about the shoveling..it is so easy to fall back into those times of saying things that really won't help a r. Picking the battles is so important and letting the small stuff go...why make little digs that can hurt..I know I am learning to keep the mouth shut..not just with h, but with kids, co-workers. It is not worth the time, anger, whatever to nag or harp on stupid things. I have learned that with our kids especially..my d friends would say to her that I never was really strict with her, but my kids know my rules and they respect me as I try to respect them and their ideas and feelings.I have a sister who had controled everything in her kids lives..clothes, food, friends..now as young adults they can't wait for the day to be out of that house. Sorry I got carried away.Keep doing what you are..you know what works Sue
Excelent reflextion hoping, about not stoping in that stupid things that can turn a day in an awfull one...!!... Also i found out my h use to stop on that stupid and little thing that doesnt deserve too much atention, and i dont want that now...!!... so, this time, i wasnt the one who stop on that... although i think he just stop on that just to find out problems or look for justification to stay out or somethinglike that... poor him, i just dont play that game any more, with him, my children or whatever... life is so precious to detain a minute i stupid and meanless things..
