Jak, I think your strategy is sound. You seem to have a good understanding of your H's issues and where he's at in the healing process.
Maybe you're right that it's not fair to say he's being avoidant of working on his skills to be a better H. You say that he's reconnecting to the world for the first time in years. That is encouraging. Let's hope that he keeps walking the path, and then begins the work of self-improvement.
I know the changes my W is trying to make is difficult for her--quitting smoking, getting a new job. There comes a point though where she will have to push forward, or she will relapse back into old habits. My W is a few months ahead of your H, but he is following the same path of recovery and growth, except with his own issues.
I think we both have enough signs of hope to hang in there for now. As you say, we need to give them the space to wrestle with their issues.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
