I am walking into the thread for a moment just to scatter a few thoughts and see if any stick..I want to thank all that peered through...and newcomers to boot!
Aud- As far as a deadline for courses that has been set for me (thank god)....12-21-07 is the start point for enrolling and last for one week. I have compiled all my data ready for the "mouse click" this time.
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And, say it with me, "N-O!" You can do it. I know it's tough--you're a pleaser, just like me, but we tend to be not so pleasing when we're feeling buried.
Too true...I am going to use less letters from now on and mutter the NO word more often...because the more I try to please the less PLEASING goes on. Really your words Aud keep this little misguided raft through M afloat.....
Cliffy, I cant believe you made a appearance!!! I have kept a lodged eye on your sitch as well. No words of wisdom flow from this here mouth so I havent posted anything. I didnt realize you were in the AA realm. I appreciate your words because "uniting" is easier than going at it alone.
Tread, welcome to my dank thread and appreciate your perspective.
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Anyway, I'm writing because I think I might understand some of what your wife is feeling right now... She's recommitted to the marriage and wants to make it work, and it to be HAPPY. She's frustrated that you're not happy, and doesn't know what to do to help with that. Maybe there's nothing she can do - which is also frustrating. Maybe there's something she can do, and she just doesn't know. If she has/does do anything that helps, I think the best thing you can do is be sure to acknowledge it. Give her some positive feedback, so she feels like there's hope and progress. Even if it's a really little thing. If you can think of something she could do, consider asking for it in DB kind of way.
I try to keep in mind that everyone needs to be noticed and acknowledged. Not trinkets, cards, etc etc but most of the time heart felt words of praise and touches of reassurances are enough. Daily stresses on everyone make this more difficult than it should be but you are absolutely right!
So with that..I came to an epiphany...I have been so swallowed up by the SERIOUSNESS of life that I have failed to see the flow of life. I have worried myself into a corner over analyzing each word I was to say to such an extent. Every action I was going to do was with the utter importance that it might be my last. This clouds my mind and with that only doom can occur. Nothing I do is going to "make or break" me Really....Life is rhythm as far as I'm concerned....I will no longer take myself seriously...I remember the days of long ago when I practiced this and I was much more happy....I let life happen... I know none of this really is earth shattering...but it helps squelch some of the "marital campfires" that have been strewn about,,..probably more later on what is going on in my sitch,...just wanted to acknowledge those that stop in and HEY CAT...where is your new thread so I can LOITER in it?...peace
