JJ had an expression that makes sense... When you can admit that H is doing a great job, you have to learn to "catch him doing it right". Then you point it out and praise him... like the dog he is. Praise the good, ignore the bad (at least as much as you can). Don't 'reward' the bad by giving it more attention than it warrants, and don't allow an opportunity to praise him for getting it right.
We all focus on how it's not working, on what's wrong. We so often fail to celebrate it when thing are going the way they "should". (wait, some annoying woman is posting to my thread right now... Oops it's you. Sorry ) I think this is because we all have our expectations of how our spouse "should" behave.... when they behave in that loving, caring, happy way, we just say to ourselves "well, it's about time". When they are "bad" we nag, complain, control. They learn, just like a puppy, that they get attention for being bad, but get nothing for being good.
I'm no good at this either, I'm just learning that it does no good to complain, and I'm trying to learn how to praise. This is where real patience comes in because they will not necessarily respond to the praise for a while, but they will surely respond to the lack of criticism (or so I've learned so far...)
) I think this is because we all have our expectations of how our spouse "should" behave.... when they behave in that loving, caring, happy way, we just say to ourselves "well, it's about time". When they are "bad" we nag, complain, control. They learn, just like a puppy, that they get attention for being bad, but get nothing for being good. 
