LL,
Thanks for not getting mad at me for my 'puter comment!
There is a lot of talk about forgivness on this BB. Have you let H know you have forgiven him?
I found another BB (Emily Brown) and she talks about "Exit Affairs". That is something Michelle has not mentioned or else I missed it! This is when a S uses the A to get out of the marriage. A lot of comments were that the S was GLAD and better off to have ended their marriage. I feel that is where W is now. I don't even know if I will see her tonight. I won't give up yet! &
figured I'd take a sec to pic myself up of the second page...
welcome to the twisted mind of LL...
haven't heard from h since he left wich isn't terribly unusual...my mind starts to wonder...
I figure no harm in calling the office to say hey how's it going...and got a busy signal...at first relieved..well if the phones busy then at least I know he's at his office..but then my twisted little mind tells me hey but maybe he left the phone off the hook to give you the impression he's there and on the phone after all you know he's not on the puter (the net anyway) cause if he were you'd be bumped off...so maybe it's a distraction...I would call his cell but figure my doubt would be in my voice so I don't.
h is not the type of person to go to such an extent as leaving the phone off the hook so why does my mind work this way????
cause I know too many people who would.
so anyway quick update...
no r talk last night....
h spent the day with buddie as support...didn't expect him home at 6 like he said so I went out to dinner with the kids and my mom...drove around a bit after to not get home right at 6 incase h wasn't home yet...I got home just before 7 to find h getting in the shower...he had left 2 messages on the phone (one letting me know his cell was dying so if I tried to call and couldn't get him that is why) and saying that he'd try my cell...he laid out the kids pjs and set up the coffee pot for himself for the morning...
so it was a nice night..sat and watched cnn...h started falling asleep...I eventually cuddled on the couch with him (didn't wait for an invite) and well things led to things...
Quote: eventually cuddled on the couch with him (didn't wait for an invite) and well things led to things...
Well LL - looks like I wished you a Happy Humpday a little too late!
Something else you mentioned struck me:
Quote: h is not the type of person to go to such an extent as leaving the phone off the hook so why does my mind work this way????
cause I know too many people who would.
I don't know why the mind works that way - but I think that it's completely natural. You're concerned about H reigniting something with OW - and rightly so. You need reassurance from H - a perfectly normal expectation. In my sitch, I do my best not to worry if W decides to stray. It is in her history - she did that with H #2 and look where that got her!
Even though two of her closest friends are divorced, she sees one of them going through the horrors of dating and the other tied up in a toxic R with a separated (but married) man who doesn't want to be seen in public with her but wants her available for him.
I choose to believe that my W is not seeing anyone else even though she has lots of opportunity to do so. As for me, I don't have any interest in becoming a WAH - despite what I feel are W's efforts to lead me down that route.
LL, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, sounds like good things????? Now just leave it at that, don't call, don't worry, just keep DB'ing yourself, don't backslide!
W just got back, stopped at my shop before going home. I was all greasy working on racecar, but slid out from under it ran up to her car and gave her a big kiss. (She turned so I could only kiss her cheek) S was here with me so I hollored "Mom's home". He was dirty too, but Mom hugged and kissed him, made me fell good! I kissed her again on cheek, and told her we were happy to see her and was glad she was home! Then she said she has a real estate class tonight, so wouldn't be home until real late, and has to work at Real Estate office tomorrow, so couldn't help me here. She said goodbye, and I took another chance and kissed her again, and said I missed her. I got no comment as she drove away. Oh well, I felt good for 15 seconds anyway
LL, I'm sure you heard the news already, Elizibeth Smart has been found alive and well, and reunited with her family. Her Parents NEVER gave up hope! Miracles do happen!
LL..I am not good at piecing the quotes..but you said you know that h misses ow..how do you know...maybe that's what your mind tells you sometimes... fall into such mind games and start assuming all kinds of things. Have fun... Sue
Quote: LL..I am not good at piecing the quotes..but you said you know that h misses ow..
sue you are right...I am assuming...actually hoping...that h misses ow...he did after all talk to her EVERY DAY and stop by her house THREE TIMES A WEEK for well over a year...if he is NOT talking to her then I would imagine he is missing her. If he is talking to her well then he's an a$$ and isn't missing her!!
ok so some of you may recall me volunteering to once again fold and stuff h's monthly statements a few months back...well foolishly when I did and came to ow's bill I handed it to him and asked that he take care of it so that I wouldn't do what I wanted to do with it (find a dirty diaper and rub it all over it and then send it on it's way!!) h ripped it up and I assume printed a new one to send her. that was a stupid mistake and I know it.
well last month there was no bill for her...I questioned h on it and he said he took care of it cause of what I had said the last time...I let him know that wasn't needed and that I'd rather fold it myself then to have him have to think about taking hers out....
well this months statements are here for me to fold (btw he does throw me some cash for doing it) and again he has taken her statement out.
this annoys me...
us women don't know what the hell we want do we?? but I did make a point to mention it the last time...I don't want to get into a tif with him tonight but would like to be heard on it. suppose I should just db and act as if I didn't even notice that hers wasn't there.
oh and omg!! I can't believe they found the woman!!! that's what I get for watching kid tv no connection to the real world. bet her h's gonna have some splainin' to do
h really is doing a great job even though when I say this to him he tells me great is too good a word to use.
all in all h is doing a great job of considering my need for time, help with the kids and the house, affection, attention etc...
h is doing a great job of being a h...so what then is missing??
the ability for me to express all these crappy feelings I have and have them validated or empathized with.
the take it one day at a time aproach does work with everything else...but when I am feeling insecure or hurt or angry (and so many other emotions) becuase of all that has happend I feel I cannot express it to h because when I do I am met with frustration (geez "no matter what I do it's just not enough" is h's typical stance)
I say to h after a bad r talk (not bad because of content but bad because we haven't yet learned to do it right) I have these feelings and they are mine...I guess it's not fair of me to expect you to help me with them as they are my feelings and therefore my problem...h says well it's my problem too.
I know alot of the time h says nothing because honestly what can he really say to make me feel better? so instead h either says nothing or is defensive or what he does say I take as insulting, demeaning or dis respect and there the circle begins.
I say to h that all I really want is for h to hear me tell me he's sorry I feel that way, hug me and tell me he loves me. this is the second such "argument" we've had like this...this one led to me leaving the house for a bit...finally I had to just ask for my hug and h very much obliged as if he needed it too.
we just have to figure out how to do this and do it right.
h seems to think that I want to analyze everything, I am too phsychological..to deep whatever...that offends me...I just want to have an understanding of all that has happend so as not to repeat it...h thinks I want to be in his head...
jeez what a totally typical mars venus cenario we've got going here.
at any rate something h said last night that was probably the best thing I've heard in a long time....
"I believe we can be happy together"
that's a pretty simple statement but it really does mean alot to me...cause up til now it's been...we are just different...we want different things....and all other things that don't really make me feel he believes we can do this and be happy.
so LL has some work to do on her own...dealing with her fears and insecurities...and LL has to find a way to deal with them with her h too.
& 
