Nomopo's Funk? Is that what this is?

[Nomopo]

Hello NDDT and SuperDad!

Sunshine,

I'm here to tell you that I'm living proof that homer is right.

Still haven't read it, but plan to by Friday, and Sunny is a proponent as well.

Just a small recap on my story. My husband told me nine months ago that he doesn't love me anymore. Of course I did everything that your not suppose to do...begging, pledging etc. I found this site and read db and dr and started backing off. He went out of town to work in June and was going to be out of town for four months. Low and behold I found myself in that time peroid. In Sept. I realized that I've had enough. I laid down the law and I told him I was only holding on for the kids because I was trying to protect them from the pain of divorce, I realized that I could no longer protect them from this and I had to let it go. And thats what I did I let it go..I let H go and I let the marriage go. After I did that it was like a switch was turn on in my head. I was starting to plan for my future and not for our future. Guess what happen next! H started to see changes in me. Started asking questions. All of the sudden he was professing his love for me again. Asking me to give it another try. I was stunned and pissed off at first. I mean come on, he put me through hell and now that I've let it go he wants to try. It took me awhile to absorb all this. And truly I don't want a divorce and I want to try again. So we have come together and made a pact to stay totally honest with ourselves and each other and see where that takes us.

Great stuff. Thanks for sharing. If it's ok, I think I'll borrow this line:

I told him I was only holding on for the kids because I was trying to protect them from the pain of divorce, I realized that I could no longer protect them from this and I had to let it go.

And, after you let your WAS go and let the marriage go, and start to plan for your future and not for "our" future, then even if they don't come around you are doing what you need to do be in the best position for your life.

This has been my experience your outcome might be different.

Yep, but I feeling pretty sure it's still the best path to take.

My goal in writing this is for the both of you to see that you deserve more than what your WAS is offering you. I realized this and made the changes I needed to make. I realized that I had to take a stand for Sunshine....

Amen. I feel this is where I am at.

Hugs to you Sunshine74. Thanks for following me.

for me, I purposely stopped thinking about my W in all of this as I tried to DB.

Really??? I mean, that owuld be good, but it doesn't seem like that's what you've done H. Do you really mean that? Or am I missing something?

I found that if I focused on her faults/role in this, I became less inclined to try.

This is so true. Focusing on my W's faults made me bitter and angry, but has helped me detach. Now I am trying to add in the "lovingly" part.

I had lost some respect for myself and I'm about 99.9% positive that she lost respect for me. Getting that self-respect back is key to getting both me, and possibily in the future, her, back. And I'm getting there.

This rings so true.

Have a great day everyone!
Nomo