lost in the land of confusion 8 and holding

[saffie]

I was getting worked up about money etc because of my horse I think.

My H really doesn't like my horse. She was a massive bone of contention between us before he had his A. Her injured leg has already cost me around £6000 but that was covered by insurance. Now they will no longer insure her leg and so we will have to pay out for more treatment. I had already paid for some that I had to tell H about and I was thinking that he would tell me to have her shot if she was going to cost another load of money. I know it's stupid but she means so much to me. H was actually great and came home with plans for an economy drive so that I can save the money for her. I felt really bad as H has been waiting ages to but himself a TVR and he will have to wait a bit longer now.

I also do just have problems with depression and so it doesn't take much to push me over the edge. I have very low self esteem and strong feelings of self dislike. Sometimes I cannot maintain a PMA.

It is hard on my H and I get frightened that he will find it too much and have another A. He say's he wouldn't ever do that to me but I guess I'm worried about the old 'once bitten twice shy' thing!!

Saffie