Truly Piecing once and for all!

[Heartbroken]

Thanks Limbo,

Well I signed us up for the 10/26 Retro. weekend here in MI - so at least it is local. I think it will just be in time - we seem to be faltering a little in the piecing efforts and I hope that weekend helps us stay on track.

H could not sleep last night - woke me up by tossing and turning - he always sleeps so I knew something was bothering him big time. I found out that my sad/afraid state during a R talk (Saturday night) with H has him doubting his committment level. Granted I had some alcohol (we had been to a beer garden for Oktoberfest)in me but I know I have been holding back my sadness and my intense fear of being hurt again not wanting to pressure him. He has been holding back on his fear of not feeling as committed as me or his being able to say ILY. So this AM we talked on the phone and decided more honesty is needed and that we both need to stop these negative thought cycles. I feel better already - he does want to do this Retro. weekend for us not just for me-- that is so good.

I need to take myself back to last OCT. where our conversations felt so forced and constrained and he would not even hold my hand (OW was in the picture & I was clueless) and appreciate where we are right now. I always need to keep a perspective going to help me appreciate ALL the positives no matter how small they may seem - they all add up.

Happy Wednesday everyone!!

My PMA is taking off and growing - yeah!!

HB