All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

Cat - How did things go with your C & H?? Are you feeling a little stronger this week?

I was/am on a good path. The bubble from the weekend soon wears off when a bad week at work kicks in. I must look at the positives, which are - H is now coming to bed the same time as me, we can sit in the same room with each other and I at least do not feel uncomfortable. He is excercing more, which is a good thing. However, I can't stop the niggles in the back of my mind. Things like, I wish he would seem more interested in me, show me some affection (maybe ML), initiate a date, anything....

I would like to clear the air and find out where I stand, but equally neither of us are that good at commuincating and I don't really want to hear any negative stuff as it would hinder my PMA.

I know I should read his actions and that he/we seem to have made huge progress, I still have that doubt in the back of my mind whether he will go or stay.

I'm not sure whether he is waiting for me to iniate more affection or ML. I did hug up to him at the weekend and he said he didn't mind when i asked. I'm just don't want to risk more rejection if I made the first move and equally I feel if he wanted it he would initiate, maybe he's so unsure of the 'new' me that he's afraid of been rejected himself?

We have a friend, H's best friend, he has no morals that I approve of but he was best Man at our wedding, however when this all started his advice to my H was take her for everything. H lost a lot of respect for him over that and has not had much contact with him over the last few months and the friend and his wife have not contacted me at all (some friends).. well anyway friend is now back on the scence as H and him train together and of course i'm now worried what they are talking about, maybe i'm just reading too much into it and it may have not been mentioned at all?

Welcome your thoughts?

X D