I keep having these "my husband is cheating on me" dreams. It's always a different scenario but I have them frequently. Does this mean I'm truly crazy??!!
H is disgusted with himself and says he isn't the person he wants to be. I wonder if the ow feels some self-loathing or if she is happy as a clam that her numerous affairs have finally destroyed her family. In my last post, ROOT mentioned that they frequently end up disgusted w/op. I always think about it from my h side but I wonder if ow will ever feel taht way or if she is so "in awe" (her words) of my h.
A long time ago someone (I think Whatisis) posted that maybe we should think about how miserable our spouses are.. It isn't such a great world to live in ... carrying on in an affair. And, once the fog starts to lift even just a tiny bit.. they are hit with these terrible feelings of guilt and self-loathing. Sooo much better to be on the high road no matter how bumpy!
In the meantime, I get these weird "checking in" phone calls all the time. Like.. "I'm leaving such and such a place and am on my way home." If he were truly willing to cut off all contact then those efforts would be great. Right now, it seems like another cover up..
