every spouse is different

[Dr.mom]

Just adding my 2 cents worth here. LRT and going dark did not work for me. I am sure it probably would have had more of an effect earlier on in the sitch.

But by the time I did it, H was relieved and just happy that I "went away". It took the pressure off him, but did not make him interested or bring him around.

I was left without a clue what to do. I could not "go light". Poking my head back out and trying to be caring/supportive did not get me anywhere either . . . . .

So now I just sit here, waiting to get served papers.

In theory, I think the DB principles are great. I think some of use have spouses, or sitch's that are just too "far gone". Like her disclaimer in the book, "Some of these techniques will not work, sometimes your spouse has firmly shut the door on your marriage and walked away".

Oh well, the PMA and GAL has been very helpful for ME. And that is all that really matters, right?

Then again . . . . . he's not filed for divorce yet, right?

Darn, there goes that hope, floating up to the surface again!