((((LL))))

I'm sorry about all of this. You know, why don't you ask him about the telephone calls? Frankly, I almost think you guys are at a point where you can have these discussions...unlike most others on the BB.

LL, as we both know, some days are better than others. Maybe he's just going through a tough spell these last couple of days and he'll pull out of it by tomorrow? Heck, we go through bad spells. Thing is, he's home and trying to work on things. It's not going to be consistent and it's not going to be pretty. And it seems that when he gives you a (positive) glimpse of what the future might hold, you hold onto it tightly, then when he drifts back to his sadness, you begin wringing your hands again. I do the same...the exact same thing. I believe this is why detaching is necessary because tomorrow they may be acting "normal" again???

IMHO (not that it makes any difference), it is necessary that your H blindly lets go of two things that he may psychologically consider a "backup":
- Get rid of OW as customer.
- Get rid of apartment.
- (I also think he needs to cut back on his work hours to spend quality time with family and LL, but that is another discusssion.)

I think that as long as he holds onto them, he's holding onto pieces of his sordid past and thus, guilt. This would not only be a gesture for you, but would serve like a cleansing almost, a purging of the old to free himself of the new. Like you indicated, a shedding of the old skin. Now, how to get him to make that leap of faith???

Stay strong...

jethro