lawyer postponed as h is going to c

[TinaG]

LL--I have followed your sitch off and on for a while now. I had not been to piecing for a while(too hopeful as I am no where near here)and was shocked to come back and find that you were at your wits end. Then it got better for a few days and now you are back to this. Unfortunately this(and other sitches) has shown me that reconciliation is highly unlikely once trust has been broken, bridges have been burned. Both parties have to be 100% commited for each other, not for the children, it will not work if it is just for the children.

If my H were to wake up, not so sure I even care anymore, I know that he would not be moving in right away, in fact not for a long while. Healing has to take place and I think that there is too much pressure if you are living together for everything to be okay right away. In essence you are starting over again and things should be taken slowly just like in a new relationship. When you are living together it is almost like you are stuck with each other, what I mean by that is that one of you expects the other to be there for them, or they think that they should be there for the other and have trouble being themselves. "walking on eggshells" If you were to live apart for a while you could both choose the times you want to spend with each other with no pressure and take it from there.

Although I know that financially this may be difficult, I think that it would be well worth it if it meant a successful reconciliation. You would both gain your independence from each other and begin to heal. Another benefit to doing it this way is that if you find that you can't work things out your children won't get there hearts broken again by dad moving out again. Not to mention I think it would be easier on both adults for the same reasons. If it doesn't work out you just stop seeing each other, no one moves out again.

Just my opinion and how I would choose to do things if I had that chance, don't know if it would work, don't know if it is possible to get back what was lost by the actions of the WAS.

Tina