new here and really worried

[littlebitlost]

So I went to french class tonite. They move so fast..... Got out and was with my bosses wife and we went for a little drive and talked. Her son tried to commit suicide last week and she is having a rough time. I LISTENED. She has listened to me so many times and I am so grateful for her kindness. We talked about the things that are truly important in life. We share alot of the same views on things. It was a nice time. We almost ended up at the casino BUT i stopped her dead in her tracks. I was tired and dont have the money to spare.

I then called aaron to talk about the morning and arrangements for the kids. we ended up talking for about 30 or 40 minutes while he put together his new tv. It was great. Light conversation.....like old times only I wasnt sitting on the couch facing him. I am oddly (and I say oddly for me) OK with it. It felt so good, so natural. He finally had to go and I had been sitting at the gas pump waiting to pump gas and buy milk for the kids anyway. I am going over there tomorrow after work to see the yard in the light, probably have coffee and chat. ( and I will definitely keep it light and talk about how great his house is) I know he is proud of this accompli9shment and doing it on his own. As much as it hurts me that he has done it without me I am also proud of him and I want him to know it.

Cliffy....I know there will be setbacks and I am prepared to have to swallow my pride and apologize for them. Aaron knows what it is like to be where I am as he was here as the left behind spouse back in march and now sort of fills the shoes of the walk away. He has told me it makes him more patient with myh behaviours. he knows the roller coaster I am on.

Heimlich...I will definitely let people here steer me straight!!

Forrest" i appreciate your honesty and candor and your responses as emotionless as they are.....hmmmmm . Are they though?


Baby steps...baby steps....TTT!!!