More Growing and Healing

[LoginName]

Hi Cat,
You posted on my thread and gave good advice, then not long after that you got hit with your second bomb (if my time line is right). And yet I see you are still posting and still giving good advice to others, while you struggle with your own sitch.

I share a lot of your feelings; waiting for my deadline when I'll ask when or if we'll be more than roommates/freinds, and if she can't make up her mind, to just let me go so I can get on with my life.

My feeling about your sitch, Cat, is that Now you've hit bottom, or rather he has, and Now maybe real progress can be made, IF you can wait. I don't think you have to wait, you've already waited a long time. But if you do, if you can, there is a chance it will turn out well. I think one of the truth's that we need to learn is that we need to be able to walk away and know we can survive it, and then for some reason we CHOOSE to stay and wait, until we can't any more.

I'm going to wait, and be patient, for a while, although every morning I have to choose to be patient all over again. Maybe tomorrow I'll stop, and move on. Maybe you will. Let's wait until tomorrow to decide.

It does get old, very old, sleeping separately. It would be easier really being 'alone' then the inbetween state.

OK, one more thing. We need to avoid feeling like we are the saints, that we are giving this gift to your spouse, because with that comes the feeling that they, or someone, OWES us. They should be grateful, damnit! We must fight that feeling. We CHOOSE to do this, for us. We can choose to leave. Yes, we do deserve a lot of credit. We are amazing people. But no one owes us anything.

I wish the best to you, and Amy, and Frank - and of course the best can mean any number of outcomes.