More Growing and Healing

[LoginName]

Hi Frank, I'll chime in.

Everyone else, don't you sometimes think that you KNOW what is going on in someones sitch, and if someone says otherwise, well, you're going to have to 'straighten them out'? Then later you find out you were mistaken?

Have you ever felt that the person giving you advice thinks they KNOW your sitch and that your just not listening to the truth? A lot of times, I think, that's true, but sometimes the advisor really doesn't understand.

I guess, in this format especially, it's impossible to know all the pertinent information. I think KNOWING and giving advice based on that is sometimes good. I think the advice to GAL, take care of yourself, detach, is always, always right, no matter what the sitch. After that, I don't know. How can you really know someone's sitch just based on this board and their postings? That's where people like you take a risk and give advice anyway. I've hesitated giving advice I feel is right because I doubt, and don't Know, that I really understand the others sitch. Bottom line: it's tricky helping others, especially here, but someone has to do it, and it's a great service. (although I have heard/read advice that I thought was wrong. Not everyone gives great advice.)

And that relates to your other point, about the pressure you are under since you are the 'great DBer'. Everyone getting advice has to remember to think for themselves. It's their responsibility to think about what the great DBer's say and use it in their own live's as they think is best for them. I get the feeling not everyone thinks for themselves. You can't be blamed for that, but maybe you should come with a warning label.

I know that there are a few people here who I follow too closely, and I have an emotional 'investment' in the outcome. What about you?

I've felt this, and it hurts knowing how little you can really help. I think we all have to remember our boundaries and what we really are responsible for; what you can control and what you can't. We do the best we can.

What do people here really need? Do they need someone who is emotionally invested in their sitch? I think they want that, but that's not what they need. They need those velvet covered 2x4's hitting them over the head telling them the basic truths, even when they don't want to hear it; GAL, PMA, take care of yourself, detach, it's not about you, let go of what you can't control, don't snoop, give them space... are there more? I guess they, we? need tough love.

Whatcha think?