Quote: You know he is not a crazy romantic. But you probably fell in love with him for his qualities - you know, the same ones that drive you crazy now!
lets see some of this we can chalk up to wooing season...h used to leave roses at my house for me with the little cards filled out with little notes like..knew you were having a bad time lately and thought these would cheer you up. or these roses needed a home and I couldn't think of a better place than in your room...and many others that made all my friends go aaawwww...and one year on my birthday (it was my job to empty the littel waist baskets throughout the house) at each litte basket I found a small present...a chain a charm and a pair of earings...it wasn't the gifts it was the thought put into them and how they were given...once on a trip to canada during my sophmore year in college I left behind my favorite boots...I was bummed the hotel didn't have them to send to me...that christmas h asked my friends to help him find me a pair like them...h wrote in my christmas card the year I was pregnant with son...([censored] I can't go get it cause h is up there) but basically how proud he was of me for all that I was doing and that he knows he husband skills leave alot to be desired and that he hoped for the best for our family, it was really sweet I'll write it here tommorow. he'd always write something in cards given to me...my birthday the first year we were married he lit candles and sang happy birthday all alone to me...when I had our son he stayed by my side (even though he let his damn mother in the room til I had the nurse kick everyone out) and after he was born gave me the biggest hug...got me roses and a doll for son that I had seen in the gift shop...called me constantly...hugged me...helped me up when I was weak...got me cards from him and son on my very first mothers day (just a week after son's birth) with flowers...made me grilled cheese sandwiches and soup when I was to big and preg and tired from working all day on my feet...brought home dinner from the resteraunt we used to go to on special occasions for valentines day when I was to big and preg to go sit in a resteraunt and even was silly enough to put on my red silk robe while I wore my white one and eat a candle light dinner with me.
we used to sit up and watch re-runs of the x-files everynight...we used to get take out and sit on the floor in the living room.
I have a picture of us wearing hawian clothes dancing in the kitchen getting ready to go to a jimmy buffett concert (oops didn't know son was comming with us)
things changed...
I was home all day with son...alone and lonely...h worked more and more and more and when he came home (his office was at home for a while) he'd stay down in his office for hours and hours working...comming up to read son a story while I nursed him to sleep and then back down to the office he went.
I don't know if we can get it back...
I don't know if I care to put in the effort with someone who is so seemingly not interested in putting for the effort too.
it is more than giving hugs and playing with the kids..it is more than having sex...
it is so much more...and it's all here for the taking...h just has to open his eyes and see..
I am so tired of this battle...I am so tired of trying to get h to be my friend...
I guess I should just settle for being his wife and be content with that....why should I want h to laugh and joke and have fun with me..really that is too much to ask of someone.
