I have been looking at getting into a house. I am kind of excited. I found an amazing house, amazing deal about a half mile from W's house and I said, no! Her whole family lives in the same general vicinity and I don't want to have to deal with running into them or have her snooping on me. Now that I have really taken time to reflect on my life, I have bent over backwards to do anything to please her. I was never able to be myself. Never able to always be honest because I didn't want to have to argue or put up with her insecurity. My parents and family have noticed that I have been really happy and just being myself. I like to be sarcastic and tease from time to time or quite often and I could not do that around W. I could not be friendly to everyone and say hi to even my little sister's friends. She would get all jealous.
Interesting than happened. Well she filed back in early June. Kept dragging my feet. I finally gave her the changes that I want and came to a conclusion that this is time for me to drop the burden of dealing with her. She has never accepted anything and that is her fault. All she does is blame me for EVERYTHING. Well, lately, I get D4 and I give her (D4) 100% of my attention when I pick her up and drop her off. I don't even look at W or say hi. Monday night I put D4 into her car and gave her a big hug and kiss and said good bye. I then turned around and started to get into my car. W said, see that is what I mean. I turned around and said, what? She said, you always tell people that I am not nice to you and that I treat you like crap. I then told her that I have always been nice to her even with her wanting to end the marriage. And all this got me was being treated worse. I told her that I am through and moving on. I then told her that it sucks that this happened and we can't change the past. I told her that she needs to let go of what I did in the past and just forget it. I told her that I am not bitter. I am just done. She had tears flowing all down her face. I then said bye and left. To be honest, it felt kind of good to see her crying and feeling miserable. She created this mess and now she needs to deal with it! I tried and tried and it wasn't enough to satisfy her. She now can live in her misery and deal with D asking for me to spend the night or for Jesus to bring her daddy back home. I think she has a lot of guilt because she KNOWS that our marriage wasn't that bad. Sure, we had minor issues that caused big problems, but if ths is how she responds when things get rough by running away and ending our marriage, that sounds like a personal problem.
Any suggestions on her being emotional? I wonder if she is really done.
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
