Travelling different roads?

[haphazard]

I'm going to hijack right back at ya GGB! Because travelling different roads would be an apt description of the state of my M right now.

when I bring it up to her she feels I am once again highlighting her failures as a wife

Lil said when you suggest to them that ANYTHING be changed to something different, they take as a criticism of how things are right now

This rings such a bell. H is completely criticism phobic and any suggestions I might make are immediately read as critical of HIM rather than the situation. I found a Book which looks like an interesting read - it suggests that the ability to hear blame is a function of low self-esteem.

I am continually amazed the extent to which H will hear blame in my voice when I absolutely intended none - not that I was trying to cover it - but not even feeling it at all and he will still manage to hear it. This makes it extremely difficult to have reasonable R talks because anything I talk about gets twisted round into him feeling attacked. He also said this about the few MC sessions we had, that he felt attacked by me and the MC.

I'm not sure what you can do.