I am a positive person always have been.( db thing always look for positives).
The thing is even with the positive things I do see, this is getting tiring. To hear him say he still feels diconnected with the progress that has been made sent me for a loop.
I need to get things back into perspective.
YES i am tired of being lonley in the M, and I do want more connection,and I deserve it.
I don't care about OW anymore, just think it's wierd he asked her about the calls. I think it was more his EA than her.
I don't want the M the way it is, although I will settle for what we have now for a while longer and see how things go. I need to feel loved and wanted . Right now I see him trying but I also see it not coming all that easy. I feel he thinks he is doing a good job of hiding the strain but, it shows as he was just such a wonderful person before this.
I know I can stay longer for now becuase he is trying and i won't give up either. I just don't know how much longer I can endure the uncertainty in the M. I guess im'e looking for peace.
Does any of htis make sence or does it sound like my menopause acting up?
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
