Hi waw - All you can say at this point is that "I dont want this D but if this is what you want then I wont stay in your way." Filing for D is just the begining you can drag it out for months. Which obviously buys you time to show change. Just listen, validate and you'll be fine. I wouldn't suggest talking to the C before. H will feel your ganging up on him then will back away from C all together.
Just try to offer support for his sitch. I have got to the point where I will validate her feelings by saying things like "yeah it must have been really difficult putting up with me. I know it wasnt easy living with me sometimes. I wasnt always the best wife, etc. Sometimes he will defend you. And take some of the blame as well.
