ok folks...I've given it some thought and since h did make the statemen "look LL, I'm committed to trying to make this work" I should accept the fact that he is trying... despite the fact that the words did not come accross in a tone that I may have expected or wanted to hear them...he said them never the less...and more importantly has been acting (this week) like he is trying.

so then if h is trying to or rather is committed to trying to make this work..what purpose would it serve me to meet with a lawyer at this time..seems a bit ironic for me to meet with a lawyer one day to discuss ending the r...when h is to meet with my c the next day to discuss finding a way to make the r work.

I will postpone...I will not pick a timeline..a deadline..a "if you don't feel 100% sure I'm the woman for you" by such and such a time...

am I removing the threat?? was it a threat?? was it an act of a desperate woman...longing to know if her h is commited to her or not??? I don't know...but for now it will be put on hold...I don't want to attempt to repair this r under the threat of d anymore than h does.

my calling the lawyer for whatever reasons I did...seems to have made a difference in both h and I.

will things be easier simply because h is open to talking to my c at least once?? don't think so...will h all of a sudden be open and honest and want to "talk" whenever I do? not likely...but at least h is open to doing something other than just being here.

I have hope...I hope that h does too...I'd like to think that the fact that he is willing to go to c and seems to have some empathy for my postition shows that he does too.

time will tell.

LL
honestly wish I knew how to link up all my drama into one place so that those who wish to understand the journey might simply click and read...I never did learn to link despite my many attempts and I know theres an awful lot of it out there (like some 8 threads at least) any willing soul able to do it I would greatly appreciate it.

some titles are

he can now say he wants a d
silly monkee
letting go it's what he wants
the battle within
the peace within
trying to come home help me keep my mouth shut
have to admit it's getting better
dating while trying to save marriage

(sheesh LL's been a busy girl that's only the one's I come up with off the top of my head)