Yes, Terrence Real and some of the others I've read this summer echo O' Connor, who is channelingJung.
Good for you for keeping the door open but recognizing that you are only in control of yourself. I'm in the same position. Not giving up, though it is getting harder to see a way to a better marriage with her, but I recognize that she will make her decisions and I will make mine. Our happiness does not depend upon our wives or anyone else. We are responsible for our own well being and happiness. Once you realize that, life does become a bit easier.
Yesterday while paying bills at home I noticed that she keeps "taking over" space in the house by shoving my stuff into boxes and into certain rooms. This used to bother me when she started it earlier this summer. Now, it doesn't. I've concluded that the only words that matter are "I want a divorce" or "Let's try to work on this together." I'm not going to analyze any words or actions short of those. All I was doing was projecting my own fears/wishes into a situation.
