Good for you. Take the high road. It might be hard at times, but in the end you have to live with yourself and you will feel better if you act with compassion and integrity. Of course, if there's some action from the ILs that truly alarms you, re-evaluate. But for now, stay on that high road. Let them, or your W, take the low road first. You'll not only feel better about yourself, but you will also be working on being a better person for all your relationships, now and in the future. I'm doing so myself. It's damn difficult. There are days I want to scream at my wife, but I will refrain from doing so and focus only on myself.
Glad to hear you are so positive about your changes. I feel the same way. This separation (and possible divorce, though my wife says nothing either about divorce or reconcilation attempts) has been truly life-transforming in a postive light. I now consider the most important thing in the world the work I do on myself. The marriage, which I still want to save, is secondary.
You'll like the O'Connor book. It's old, but it really hit home for me in trying to understand my wife, and it helped me understand myself even though I don't consider myself in MLC. I am, however, in a mid-life transition to becoming a fuller, better human being. I think you are too. You will see yourself in this book, especially in the later chapters where he writes about men turning inward in the second half of our lives. Women need to turn outward, to develop a sense of "mastery" over the public world (especially women who have been full times wives and mothers), while men's journeys are just the opposite. Midlife either becomes a time for stagnation or growth. You and I are on the growth road! Feels good to be there.
Keep posting. Let me know what you think about the O'Connor book. Make it a good day.
