Like Tom Petty said, "the waiting is the hardest part." I ahve gotten over the initial panic and have since reached a plateau of sorts. I have absolutely no desire to date. Some tell me that it would make me feel better. However, I know that my mind would be elsewhere and I just will not do it. She says that she isn't planning on dating, but wants that option. She did say that there would be no sexual activity. As I type this, I feel like the biggest fool for even wanting her back.
I have kept my distance. Resisted the urge to call and am glad that I did. I often wonder if this is as hard on her as it is me, but I will never know at this point. I will NOT contact her friends or family. I do want her to experience life without me. Perhaps the grass won't be as green as she initially thought or that it is. Who knows. Each day is a victory, but the unknown is an adversay that I can't fight head on. I also wonder if she sees my not filing for divorce a sign of weakness, you know, not being a man. I sure the hell hope not because it has taken more restraint to not file than to continue this waiting out process. I appreciate any insight I receive from this board. To be continued....
