Still sounds like you are pressuring too much. You sound like you are trying to use your logic to convince her to stick it out and work on things. Ain't gonna work. You are setting yourself back when you try this.
This will require much patience. For me, it took 3 months of solid effort before she backed off the stance of leaving even a little bit. Then one day out of the blue, my wife walked by, patted me on the butt and said, "Who knows, maybe it will all work out." Then, two more months of nothing appearing to change.
Again, listen, listen and listen some more. Try not to offer your opinions unless asked. Let her vent. Let her tell you about how you hurt her in the past. Likely she is going to purge more than once. I think this is good. She is talking to you. She is giving you information about what you did wrong and information about what you can do differently. Your job is to DO it differently, not TALK about how she should feel, how you feel or what you will do. Just DO it and she will notice. She might not believe you are for real or that your intentions are true for some time. You just have to suck it up and push forward. Forget about turning it around quickly. It could happen but that mindset will create pressure on both of you. Even if you don't say it, she will smell it. She will run to her friends even more.
I'm 10 months in and not out of the woods yet.
I have a friend who managed to save his marriage. He feels it took 2.5 years to get it all back together. This stuff totally sucks...and it takes time...and patience.
BTW, yes I seem to quote a lot from my life. The reason is that the way you seem to be dealing sounds a lot like how I did early on. Trying to help you avoid the same mistakes I made.
You have hope, we are with you.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
