Ok, that is probably the funniest thing I have heard. I don't even know what you look like, but I can picture you beckoning to your D "Its not bad, come...." and you being knocked down!! Glad you kept your shorts somewhat on.
Why must they bait us?? Isn't it bad enough what they have done to 'knock us down', must they instigate fights/disagreements? I wouldn't ask about the cell phone, I am sure she is waiting for you to do it. Have you called the old number? I wonder if she transferred her number?