Sometimes when I read your posts and reflect back on my own marriage I just wonder if maybe it is the case that extroverts and introverts simply shouldn't marry. All the stuff about your H that turns you off would either turn me on or at least be a neutral. I would regard a man calling me up and saying that I won't be able to resist his buffness as a fairly strong form of pre-initiation. I do the same sort of thing myself. For instance, when I talked to GP last night I described the stockings I had purchased that day. I truly wasn't looking for validation, I was just being a flirtatious tease. Maybe you should consider why you didn't respond to your H's "buff" comments the way GP responded to my stocking comments which would be to say something along the lines of "Mmmm...that's not fair telling me how buff you are looking when I can't get my hands on you."
Also, when your H is all excited about projects or activities, on one level you may be viewing this as immature but you might want to consider whether you aren't feeling a bit jealous because you aren't engaged in activities that bring you a similar level of excitement at the moment. Have you enrolled in that art class yet, for instance?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
