Ladies.. you area all so very right. Thanks so much for the support. I'm a mess again and I'm not sure why I suddenly fell off the wagon. I was ignoring (at least to his face) his contact w/ow and putting on this happy front to him for a long time and I just lost it recently - like I've reverted back to the begging and pleading pathetic Olive. I know that's got to STOP!!
I've been trying to figure out what was going on and what I was doing those times when H was "trying" to break it off w/ow. What has brought him closer to me. I think I have some clues. So, I'm starting there...
ROOT - I KNOW he doesn't want to lose his family. His daughter is his pride and joy. If she hasn't seen him much, she just sobs when he drops her off at school. It's got to be heartbreaking to think he won't see her every day. And, he knows the damage he's done and says he's disgusted with himself. I'm sure in some ways this feeling makes him want to make it ok w/ow and be there for her since she got divorced through this whole ordeal.
OC - You are right .. dumping ow will destroy her. I've seen tm where H's tried to dump her before and she doesn't do too well with that. Put on top of that her going through a divorce (painful no matter who you are) and you get a woman who needs a night in shining armor.
Hope - yes.. I need to do it in my time. I feel like I need to build up the good again first...
Well.. off to work. I only feel slightly sick to my stomach today
