If anything gets me to regress and talk to my W about a retro weekend or asking her to put a hiatas on pursuing OM, the way the girls are starting to behave will. I don't know if I'm strong enough to watch them hurt without saying something to my W.
Heim, I totally understand what you're saying. This sucks for you and mostly for the girls. They're probably confused, angry, and scared. I know you're angry with W because of this; I know I'm p*ssed as hell at H for even considering putting the kids through this, for minimizing the impact it'll have on them, for seeming to care too little about them to put them before his own happiness.
But Heim, if you decide you have to say something about it, she won't hear it. She can't right now. All she'll hear is, "Blah blah blah blah you're hurting the kids blah blah blah I want you back and I'm willing to use them to hurt you blah blah blah." She cannot hear you.
And believe me, I'm talking to myself here as much as I am to you.
My point is, yes, she's hurting the kids, but telling her so won't help---your M or your kids.
If you're just so angry you could spit and you want to let it out on her, go ahead. But it's not going to help your girls. Think carefully about what your motivation is: Do you want to hurt your W or do you want to help your girls by doing everything you can to get back together?
I think you want to hurt her right now. I know I want to hurt H sometimes, to snap him out of this fog and show him what havoc he's wreaking. I might be able to hurt him, but I can't get him out of the fog, and neither can you with your W.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
I'll pop in here and there, but I've gotta take a break from reading about everyone and focus on me for a little while.
I think taking a break to focus on you sounds really good. I'll miss you dearly, but it sounds like it's what you need.
