I can sympathize completely especially with the "I'll know that I tried everything I could" part. I have played this situation in a low-key manner since my momentary lapse in weakness. Part of me thinks that I should not put my life on hold and hope that she decides that she does not want the divorce. However, another voice in head is telling me to give her time b/c things didn't get bad overnight and won't get better overnight either. What a mess! I am moving to the next county to put more distance between us and a shorter comute to work. I love my wife and will do just about anything to get her back into my life. It is so difficult not to call, email or text just to say 'hi.' She has a complete support network while I am sitting in an empty apartment, bored to death most of my free time. I am physically active and have a demanding job but I still have those times late at night just before I go to bed that I miss her. Someone had said that, "A woman says what she thinks, but acts how she feels." Of course this is a generalazation but I believe it to be true in my situation. Wishful thinking on my part? Perhaps. However, I will take anything that will offer me the slightest hope of reconciliation. My heart still drops when I am driving and see a vehicle that looks like hers. I hate that feeling. I haven't seen her 18 days. I hope this gets easier and I guess it has to a certain degree. Of course I am wrestling with the most popular question on here it seems and that is "How long should I wait?" I don't know in my situation but I guess that I will know it when the time is right. She has stated awhile back that if we were to divorce she would want to still be friends. I reacted withI the "if I am not good enough to be our husband, why would I be good enough to be her friend? Would she tell me of dates that she had went on?" - No way! We argued, true, but over unimportant things. To make matters worse, I am in an argumentitive profession and so sometimes I cant hit the 'off' switch. That is a deficiency that I have to work on along with the other things that I am working to try and correct, for me. I want to be that guy she fell in love with again, make her feel attracted to me again. Having her family support me is a huge plus I think, but time will tell. Anyways, thanks for reading and please do not hesitate to offer me the benefit of any of your thoughts on this limbo that I currently live in.
