the thing is, Dom, my h is living with another woman right now. I can't even imagine him agreeing to dinner or the like, and then what, he goes home to her? I'm ill just thinking about it.
trust me, he's aware of the date. he isn't the type of man who forgets things like that. even if he has traded me in for a leggier model, and is about to celebrate his 1st relationship anniversary with her, I'm sure he'll still remember our wedding date.
as for the discrepency between me wanting the card, but not wanting him to say anything, its because the cards I saw were from people who wanted to make their relationships better. sure, if H wants to do that, I'm open to it. but the reality is I know he doesn't want that. he sure as hell doesn't want that right now, doubt if he will in a couple of weeks. I don't want guilt/pity/sympathy on that day. I don't. and that's all I see coming from him if we have any contact at all.
not to mention, I guarantee I will be a weeping, blubbering mess, more so if I hear his voice. nothing I can do to change that fact...I know myself too well. I know I will. I can hold it together for the kids, I can stay strong while around them, but if I am around my H, hear his voice, anything, I will lose it.
I'm already losing it a bit just thinking about it.
I'm so glad you were able to have a pleasant evening with your wife. and I am so impressed with the courage asking her to dinner must have taken. I certainly appreciate and thank you for your input here. but I don't see any of that happening for me.
damn, I'm pathetic. I'm crying now.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
