what is the ow thinking??

[Hope_11]

I agree with both root and ourcrisis. My XH like yours was unsure. I pushed him because I couldn't continue to live like that. I reached the point that I was done. It backfired...he chose the path of D because it was easier. I, like you, had dealt with his A for almost a year, but I knew that my life would go on without him...actually I came to the realization that there was a good chance that my life would be better without him. He was never going to be the man that I deserved. I'm not glad that marriage ended...I didn't want it to but I am much more at peace now one month after D than I was living on the rollercoaster ride from hell. Life goes on...with or without him.

My only advice is to live your life for yourself. You need to lose the fear. YOU CAN AND YOU WILL MAKE IT. Don't give an ultimatum or file for D if you aren't ready, but like I've said before, you need to stop being there emotionally for your H or I'm afraid that he will continue to ride the fence.