new here and really worried

[littlebitlost]

Good Guy....good things happen to good people. I am so sorry about your job but perhaps it is a door opening, that only seems to be closing, to something bigger and better, something you otherwise would not have gone looking for.? I hope so. Laws of attraction...if you are positive you will attract positivity. (funny how easy it is to say to other people but hard to get myself) example?

Look how i screwed up today:this is his reply to an email from me

Hey,


It was nice getting the email that said you were happy for me about the washer and dryer, I thought for a second that you really were just happy for me. It is times like this when I am honest with you and you seemingly throw your hands in the air and say, “I give up” that lead me towards not sharing with you Erin. I may be off base here as I’m a little unclear to the meaning of your email….well, it’s a little more clear now with the second email. And no, I didn’t ask, and tonight is a diner thing with a friend of Lisa’s from highschool or something, Paudy didn’t even really know, so it didn’t sound like he was to into it….and I asked him if he would like to hang out sometime and he said no to me as he “doesn’t even hang with himself anymore”….so I just made a judgement call. Yanno, it is partly me, and I told you that in the email…but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t other factors involved too.

I’m sorry that you are upset. I didn’t mean to upset you.


Aaron

you can see form this email he is never mean...he is very kind to me. I am so frustrated because I want him back.

Here was my reply:

It’s not upset…it’s hurt. I’m not even sure what the difference is. Guess I am confused. I can come over tonite for coffee and to see your house…but not, what at night? Not in a social circle? You NEVER will give me a chance to shine. I am happy that you found a washer and dryer. I am honestly glad. I am glad you have your new house. I am glad. I am glad that you are doing all these wonderful things without me. I am sorry that I am not good enough for you to devote any time to. I am getting the picture. I am tired of being hurt. I should never have said anything to you months ago. Never should have opened up. I should have just done the work with and on myself and moved on. I am feeling a bit the fool and even worse because of all I have said and told you. I have let you in and I think maybe I should not have. Things would definitely have been easier for me, you and the kids.

Stupid huh? THne he sent me a text that said not to be so hard on myself. That I am a good mother and that he is sorry for the way he feels right now...(not comfortable enought to hang out with me alone or in groups) that was what started this whole thing...and so now I have sat at my desk the last hour crying. I am so frustrated. I should have jnust 'listened' to him eh?