This also posted under "Newcomers"

[saffie]

Going,

Single is right - we cannot guarantee the affair will crash and burn but taking all you have said into account that looks the most likely thing to happen. Now the way you can try and give it the best odds that that happens and that your wife ALSO returns to you when it happens is to look to yourself. Make yourself into someone you are happy with and who your W would be happy to be with.

Control what you can - that means control you.

Just stop and think. You are still connected to your wife - she confides in you etc.( I must say that that actually makes it more difficult in a way because you get to hear all the details, but they also show that really this R with OM does not look good REGARDLESS of what happens in your M.) You are still alive and breathing. You have a job, a home, a healthy son. You are fed and clothed. I know you feel bad but you do have a lot to feel good about.

You need to be your own man. That is what your W will notice.

Saffie