No he had no decision at all. He works in out inn field, she is an accountant. They met when he came into the office to get his materials and supplies. No he's never done anything like this according to my wife. He was too much of a broken man before. They are keeping very hush hush but some suspect and it got out to one guy. He thinks it is wrong and thinks she'll be back with me in 6 months. I hate that comment because I don't want her to be afraid to come back and be afraid of someone saying, "See I told you so"
Plus he's already told my w that his marriage is over and they are just finalizing divorce, so his wife probably wouldn't care. He's told my wife, that his wife is a bit%h and that they can't stand each other. He claims his wife has mistreated him, etc.
Jeez, this guy is a scum bag. He knows your M has a chance and he's willing to FCUK it up. WHAT!!!!!!!! He is pushing all the old scumbag lines wth your W and she is falling for them. Surely you can see that he is a trickster - an opportunist and will not stay the course.
You got to get your head tuned in to how to GET your W back. OM is history - truly. He is going to shoot himself in the foot - soon. really you need to ride the storm and wait. Your W loves you. This guy WILL NOT make her happy. Instead of thinking about OM think about why he was able to turn your W's head. What can you do to turn it back? What can you do to make her want you? That includes holding back aswell as giving yourself. You are too available. the R between you and your W still seems close. She will notice small changes. I think the slightest withdrawl by you she will feel. I think she will then panick and try to reel you back in. Stay strong - make her come to you!!!!
Truly GISH there is much hope in your M.
saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie, thank you. You are giving me hope, more hope than I've ever had but I don't want to believe it 100% because I would be more devastated than I am now if she didn't come back after getting my hopes up.
Single - I hope that isn't a wet patch I spied!!!!!
GISH. GET UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES. You don't need hope you need a bit of arrogance. You are so nice. Just now you are too nice to your W. Have you heard of the book 'Why Men Marry B!tches?'? There must be one out there saying 'why do women love b@stards?'.
It was only when my H stood up to me that he got my attention. Your W wants a man. YOU are that man. Make yourself be strong - that's what she wants. You have to believe in yourself. You have so much to offer.
I got to go and get my D from work. Back in a bit!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
No he works out in the field at building sites as a welder. Here's another thing too. He had a chance a few weeks ago to get a promotion to some kind of project manager and be able to get out of the field and not worry about all the dangers of welding and being so high up, and all the health hazards. It was a lot more money and my wife encouraged him to take it but he refused and said he doesn't want to be in the office because he doesn't want to deal with all the politics and doesn't like people and likes to work alone. My wife was peezed because she said he was stupid not to take it and he's getting too old to be climbing on steel beams 8 stories high. She said he was being an azz about it and said he could get hurt welding, etc and can't believe he would not want to get a huge raise especially with all his financial problems.
A bit of rough aswell. My god the classic 'buttons' are all being prodded. I bet that guy is a right Jack the lad out in the field. Really GISH this guy is going nowhere with your W. She knows he is stupid. Why turn down such a good promotion. This all feels so wrong. Take heart. Now is the time to work on you so that when your W comes back your M will be better than before. Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie, thank you. You are giving me hope, more hope than I've ever had but I don't want to believe it 100% because I would be more devastated than I am now if she didn't come back after getting my hopes up.
Going, Expectations set you up for disappointment. We can guarantee that the affair will crash and burn. Going, you need to detach from her. You are not whole and she can't complete you. It only works that way in Hollywood. What are you doing for you?
Single is right - we cannot guarantee the affair will crash and burn but taking all you have said into account that looks the most likely thing to happen. Now the way you can try and give it the best odds that that happens and that your wife ALSO returns to you when it happens is to look to yourself. Make yourself into someone you are happy with and who your W would be happy to be with.
Control what you can - that means control you.
Just stop and think. You are still connected to your wife - she confides in you etc.( I must say that that actually makes it more difficult in a way because you get to hear all the details, but they also show that really this R with OM does not look good REGARDLESS of what happens in your M.) You are still alive and breathing. You have a job, a home, a healthy son. You are fed and clothed. I know you feel bad but you do have a lot to feel good about.
You need to be your own man. That is what your W will notice.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
