It is none of it their fault/responsibility. They were driven to do it. They are justified in doing it because they felt like it.
'Struggles to have control , , thrives on not having it' I am ticking all of these boxes.
Incidentally Was2sad posted a great post on Darboyd's thread just now. Now there is a great poster!!
I know what you mean about how you were raised - my dad was never whiney or self pitying. He had a wonderfully self deprecating sense of humour and grace that I aspire to.
Just recently I have been getting back my joie de vivre - another casuality of MLC: friends are so relieved that I am beginning to really act like the old me again. I feel like me too - not the sad stranger that my h knocked the stuffing out of by his casual and abrupt cruelty in announcing he had never loved me.
Easy to say that we 'let' our WAS have power, but the truth is that if we truly love someone and open our heart to them we are bound to be hurt by their defection. To not be hurt is not to have fully loved, I think. Getting over it is the great trick, first with smoke and mirrors, and then it happens!!
