Quote:
That's what makes it the hardest, having her right there, but her refusing any kind of emotional or physical connection. I need to end this marriage just to end the pain and loneliness I feel and to GAL.



If you think about it a bit more deeply, what you are saying is not "[my wife is hurting me]", but
"I dont like my wife: I want to trade her in for a different one".

Is your "pain" is coming from something she is directly inflicting upon you? or from your own wants and desires?

Seems like the latter.

IF you want to have a more objective framework for "ending your marriage", how about this one:

When you can say that you (AND YOUR CHILDREN) would be better off, if you were living alone without dating anyone else, compared to living with your wife...
then your wife is actual cause of pain for you, and it is a bit more reasonable to claim "you have to divorce her to stop the pain".

But right now, it doesnt sound like thats the case.


It sounds like you are looking to avoid looking at your own responsabilities in a few areas.
One, is your responsability to your marriage. (to hang in there, even when she is less than you want from her)
Another, is your responsability to your kids.

hHre's an example of the second:

Quote:

I feel the kids are more neglected as I'm not there for them. I know that is pretty lame, but they don't need to suffer because of her. They're great kids!


Is it your wife's choice or fault, that you are not there for them?


It sounds to me, like they are suffering because you're not there for them.
How about looking at yourself, and places where you are neglecting your children, (and then doing something about it!) before getting all nasty about your wife neglecting them?


Who knows... that might have a side effect of also improving your wife's relationship with you.


PS: no one needs to file a divorce, to "get a life".
When people claim that, what they are really saying is, they want to file divorce, to "get a date" !

"dating" is not synonymous with "having a life"

Last edited by Dom R; 10/01/07 05:24 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle