I hate to say it but you are very correct on each and every point.
This sucks. And that is why the only way forward for us is to "man up".
Concentrate on becoming the man you want to be.
Concentrate on doing the very best you can for you and your kids.
Concentrate on setting healthy boundaries. What are your terms as a man?
Concentrate on the fact that you and only you control how you think. How will you choose to think?
Concentrate on doing the right thing, for the right reasons, in the right way, regardless of the consequences, every time. Do it right; expect nothing in return.
Get things in writing and legal. The more things are defined the less uncertainty there is. For example, next week is fall school break. My former W just *realized* it. She wanted to know my plans. I get to keep them all week per the custody schedule so I am *protected*. Yet she wants to take them to see her parents; my kids have not seen their grandmother in months and she is sick. Do I say yes or no? Why do I still feel guilty like I am "withholding" the kids from their mother (yes, I do, and so will you). Yet, she thinks nothing of keeping the kids from me - it is all my fault after all; I only deserve to go away quietly.
But the reality is quite different. Our kids NEED us. They need us to be strong. They need us to act with courage and honor.
If your W shows her selfish side remember (and this is so difficult to get your arms around) that she is only showing her lack of self esteem and her hurt.
She IS hurt Mark. Hurt, and she has given up. That is the sad part. That is our frustration - and frustration takes a long time to get past.
