You should start your own thread on this forum so we can quit hijacking lost's, eh?
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My S has been acting up in class, I feel it is partly due to our separation, but my W doesn't think so, she said it went on last year somewhat too, I didn't agree or disagree with her, I just listened, is that the right way to approach that?
Be careful about making comments that might cause W to feel guilty (saying it was partly due to the separation) -- never good. However, that being said I think you did fine here, GG. Ask yourself this: is it better to argue about who is right about the root of this behavior, or better to work on addressing his behavior in a healthy and constructive manner? By not disagreeing, you did well. However, I think it is perfectly okay to say something about how you think the problem should be addressed with S10, his teacher, etc. Coming up with a plan together is what is best here. Were you controlling or did you give her the reigns most of the time in your R/M? If you controlled, give her more of the say on things now (don't just buckle, but let her lead). If you sat back in the past, be more proactive and decisive -- take the bull by the horns a little more (but don't force). Monitor the results of such actions for 2-3 weeks (at least), and determine whether or not there is cheese in the tunnel. If not, try doing something else. If she responds favorable (i.e. there's cheese), keep doing what is working.
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"Why does all this bad stuff keep happening to us dad?"
I'm sorry, GG -- I'm sure that was hard to hear, but stay strong for him and reassure him that you guys will all be fine and that you've just gotta weather the storm that life has sent your way for the time being. Stay strong for him (and it sounds like you are -- good for you!).
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I told my W that there was a permission slip in his school backpack for a class for "students of loss or divorce" with the guidance counselor, I asked my W if I should sign it and return it, she knew about the class and she didn't want to do that?
First, where did the permission slip come from? Second, why not just discuss this issue with S10 first and find out what he thinks, and then discuss it further with W? Tell her you concerns, and somehow figure out how to slip in a question about why she thinks he wouldn't benefit from it. I guess that's what I would do.
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does that mean she isn't thinking about D, or she feels my S doesn't need it, or none of the above??? I know, I shouldn't drive myself crazy with trying to read too much into things
Your last statement summed up my answer pretty well. Don't dwell on it too much, because you can't know until/unless you discuss it with her.
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I feel needy, not a good time to be around my W I guess.
Just don't be needy when she comes around. Be cool, strong, happy, confident, etc. Show her that you are a strong man who can deal with anything life has to throw at him. She will admire and respect this, which certainly can't hurt you and your sitch. What can hurt you, however, is showing neediness, pursuing, weakness, etc -- not attractive qualities, and such qualities would only serve to make her feel guilty (which isn't what you want).
Good luck on the job hunt -- that should keep you busy, shouldn't it?
