Retrouvaille vs Counseling

[Heartbroken]

Hello Limbo and Sara too!

I have been in piecing for 13 wks now - true piecing with no OP involved to muck things up or make it harder than it already is.

H cannot tell me ILY and I get this but then I don't. I know from these boards that the WAS can take a long time getting over the A. We ML almost every other night and we are very affectionate with each other but yet there is little emotional connection for me - I am afraid to say ILY to him due to not wanting to pressure him at all.

This weekend we went to an beer garten - OKTOBERFEST - and after two large beers (and little dinner on my part) we fell into a deep R discussion - basically I am just so afraid of him leaving once again (I have nightmares 2-3 times a week and wake up crying). My fears seem to be getting worse the longer he is away from OW...just like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

H says he will go to see a C or whatever (he feels we both need to go not just him)... I suggested a Retrouville weekend - we have one coming up at the end of October - 30 mins from home. My parents would have to come out from WI to stay with the kids. Are we candidates for this?? - will it help H open up emotionally to me or is that just going to take time...??? He has some demons he's afraid to share for fear of freaking me out - but yet I tell him I imagine the worst now anyways...(I suspect it's having to do with not fully being over the OW though he's had no contact as far as I can tell...)

Also how long is each follow up session?

Thanks for the info... We can go see our IC/MC that were went to during the A time but this weekend thing seems to focus on the present and I like that!

Thanks for your help!!

HB