So we just had the big talk, with her proposing for the sake of the kids that she and I be 'friends living together', but with lovers on the side, both 'free'. That we should keep the house until I find a new woman, and then reconsider. She also said that she had never loved me, never respected me as a man, and that counseling could never help fix this.
I said, fine, okay, well then, that means we can D? She said, fine, go ahead and file for D. I asked if she knew that this meant I no longer had to be financially support her at all, that the only money I would want to spend on the house is that which made it more valueable, at which point she called me an a-hole and walked out, back to her work room (adjacent to mine, with no door between, where she is now).
Of course I don't want to hurt the kids - at all - and this arrangement, which would be explained to the kids, is her way of protecting them, and I suppose, maintaining a nice living situation for a bit longer. Can you come up with a good counterargument or two, why divorced, but living together for the sake of the kids, with lovers on the side, is a bad idea? She found me hopelessly old-fashioned, found my oath of loving her till death do us part ridiculous.
The big questions are whether to file now, whether to leave my daughter here over fall break so she can't have a liaison, and whether to accept this 'modern' moral standard. Leaving my daughter here as a chaperone feels wrong - does it to you too?
Luke, married 22 years, kids D 9 and son 13
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
