Weekend trip was enjoyable. Still got some things to worry about, though. Too early to tell if they are major, or minor. So.. gonna try not to waste time worrying about them! Gonna try focusing on the positive instead.
After some struggles juggling the kids, and soothing her nerves... I ended up giving her 1 hr of massage, and then about 45 mins of "more", when she was interested
But, afterwards, hit the "post coital regret" type reaction from her again. Sometimes, I too wonder if I should keep things 100% "platonic", to avoid the rollercoaster effect.
I pretty much always keep it limited to when she shows some kind of "hints". I almost never try to initiate just for me.
Yet, I still run into the regret/distancing factor from her, to varying degrees. We slept in same bed afterwards, but she put a pillow wall up and wouldnt cuddle. sigh.
Second night was a bit wierd. got a little bit of mixed signals. I think we MIGHT have actually ended up sleeping cuddled... but the children played the "we need mommy to sleep with us because of nightmares!" card, there was none of that. So, I ended up just giving her a massage (for an hour ) and then we slept apart I really miss sleeping next to her. that's my favourite thing in the whole world. the sex was GREAT fun... but I miss the closeness. I "pushed" a bit later on, to see if she would try sleeping together once (sleeping! ) on a non-trip type basis. but she stalled me with "very busy month". guess I need to back off again. sigh.
Overall, she seemed to take the trip as a "something positive we do together for the kids" kinda thing. We took them to the zoo, and to a maritime museum. cool stuff, and educational too. we've done mostly that sort of thing.
She hinted that the next time we do something with the kids, it would be a purely "fun" type event, though. (Evening pirate show )
I think, that, unlike past trips, I kept it virtually 100% positive. No R talk from me. I just let her know how happy I was to spend time together. (note that unlike your relationship, agent: it is her choice to ONLY spend time together, via kids' activities. it was amazing that she actually went out with only me, for our anniversary dinner in august.)
one very interesting comment from her. she said that she "wasnt sure that she could be happy", and that only, "some things make her 'happiER'" Not entirely sure if she meant about life in general, or about spending time with me. I replied just that it would make me happy, if she chose to share the "happiER" moments with me.
This is where we are... after 1 year and 3 months. it's "improved". but still no full reconciliation in sight. And we have a freakin court date hanging over things at end of oct reguarding child support demands, that she had postponed ("continuance") to see how she did with my proposed lesser amount that I have started to give her.
things are so confusing and complicated. ugh.
phew. tired. not usually up this late, and work tomorrow. reinstalling some stuff on my computer. sigh.
ok, enough threadjack from me. thanks for letting me ramble
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
