VC, if you want to shoot a gun, come on up here! Geez, EVERYONE here owns a gun, and so do we, for that matter. But we inherited them and h goes hunting about every 3 years (until his "Alaskan virus" took over, that is). HOpe things are smoother. I would definitely have laughed out loud if h had blamed ME for his high blood pressure (if he had high bp). Assume your h was kidding, or is in such denial that you find THAT funny too....sheesh!!
JAK you are so right about the question "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" It is amazing how many people tell me that h's behavior was "selfish" or "Wrong" (as if I don't know) and apparently think, That's it....party's over. Divorce.
I mean, they really get bogged down in how "right" I am to be angry and then they sort of leave it out there as if that's the whole story. I wonder how anyone stays married with this attitude.
Not to say all is smooth or fine. H does, at times, seems like a stranger, or someone I have little in common with. OTher times, I see d10 laughing and playing with him, and I feel a lot better.
As for your h's depression JAK, ummm, geez, how long do you have to wait? I saw a cartoon about the "HMO"s one stop therapy for depression" and they had a doctor slapping the patient in the face and saying "snap out of it!" So, point is, when will he take SOME responsibility for at least not being a drag to be around? What on earth do your kids say?
Well, no bear sightings over here. H's job continues to be a bit strained since he is not making a gazillion dollars. Honestly I do bite my tongue when he mentions something I KNOW I said last year....was he on glue? Seriously.....
MY job, on the other hand is actually interesting and is giving me experience that will likely help me elsewhere with the job market. Of course, I wanted a different type of job, as this is not my dream....but I know I need to be grateful to be able to make a good salary when I've stayed at home for years. (VC, did I mention to you that the Alaskans don't seem to have noticed the little 'gap' in my work experience?...thank GOD for job markets with shortages...)
So, very ironically, I believe h will want to leave here in the next several months. Since d10 is pretty happy and alright here for now, staying thru the winter won't kill me if it's the only one. IF h changes his attitude and starts wanting to hang out forever even without the fortune, maybe mine will change too. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
VC, are you kind of hanging in there hoping to just "be" for now? Or are you at the end of your rope with zero R talk? Still worrying about OW? How is your son? I did find I needed to take a break from R talk at times, just to laugh and enjoy each others' company, or at least not to have stress and pressure every minute. You know, how some people are constantly taking the temp of the R? For us, each moment of silence/peace seemed to build until we were relaxed enough to start liking being around each other. But without expectations.
Oh VC, have you checked out Faithisbelieving 's posts lately? I think you know him- and his w is so hurtful these days I am running out of hopeful things to say, if you kwim. If you have a moment, check it out.
Take care Ladies, and keep in touch. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
