'Passive Speak' in MLC

[heartbreak2]

Funny how we remember things while reading other's posts.

I too feel my H has gone backwards to a place he had not been since the first 2 mon of leaving.

In Oct 2006 after a trip together where he decided that he still loved OW and we were hopeless he emails me this.

I know that I am imperfect, and have grappled tremendously with what I have done and what to do. I realize that you really are upset with me. Think about how we interacted when you were painting the chair in the garage the other night. My decision to leave was not a fickle one, I was at my limit. As we have communicated in the past, my leaving was a wake up call or kick in the ass to us both. I need time and help to sort things out.

Funny way he has here realized all these things and yet did not work a single thing or sort anything out??
This was the day after an MC appt the last one we attended.
An appt that I brought up MLC and the MC didn't believe it it..
oh... I made sure he knew that I did and gave him a list of sites online that talked about it. For he claimed there was not much professionally written about it.

H was interested at this time too and did look at the sites and that I think made him think.

He had made it clear OW was what he wanted so when he came to get the kids I was busy watersealing a wood chair for out in a garden I had made to release frustration.

All I said was Yes I am putting the chair outside in the new garden so the house looks better since I will have to sell it.
That hit a nerve I guess for he snapped at me.."so that is the plan now?"
I didn't say a word kept on painting and told them to have a good time at dinner and the movies and I went on with life... guess that bugged him to form the remark about how we interacted. I was nice but distant and he didn't like it.

5 wks after this he had his 2nd touch and go.... I went dim during those 5 wks. and he pursued the D and then went into hiding. he has a pattern of D talk then hide talk then hide.... can't face the demons. Now he can't talk to me to my face.

He has not done this since he left, for we had a very good relationship and have not fought or argued about anything in the last 16 mon.

So maybe they have to reassess things over and over until they get it straight in their heads. OR their heads explode and the braincells realign ! I think they need electroshock therapy..!!!