I just emailed Nomo's notes to you. I'm sure you'll find them helpful, I did.
I think you handled things well in your talk. He sounds like he is definitely in "alien mode" right now, so IMO, it would be best to avoid R talks at all costs.
I was reading a book last night, called "The Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner, and I thought it might be a good read for you, given that you're trying to discover how to share more of yourself emotionally with H and others.
