PS I totally agree that most of those in MLC had very inadequate early parenting - either emotional or physical abuse or both.
And yes, they are hurting. Again, I think your h is actually further along than many of those here, in that he doesn't totally blame everyone else: although self excusing is also a failure to take responsiblity. It is like a sort of progression.
1. Other people are responsible for this mess {and in my h's case, wasn't I a wonderful person for putting up with for as long as I did - he actually wants praise for staying with us, when he was as happy as larry for years!!]
2. I made this mess, but there were good reasons for it
If and when they fully wake up, they realise that they did it all by themselves, and insofar as the LBS contributed it was still the WAS resonsbility to try and work things out, as the LBS asked.
